A few years ago, fine print became difficult for me to read. I needed longer arms, better lighting. Some of you know what I mean.
Recently, that is how things have been for me spiritually. It feels like everything that used to be so clear, suddenly became blurry. There are moments of clarity, maybe when the light is better or when I can stand back far enough to get a little perspective.
I haven’t experienced the darkness of depression, just the slow-dawning realization that I am in a bit of a ditch. Looking back, I can see the early signs, the issues that came up and my avoidance of those issues.
I don’t want to be broken again. I thought the whole spiritual abuse thing would be my big brokenness event. So why after healing from all of that would I need to be stripped and pruned again?
During this time of floundering for me, at our coffee-shop gathering we have been dealing with our picture of God. This has forced me to either deal with the issues I’ve tried to avoid or fake it. I’m trying to deal.
I’ll share some about the slide into being stuck and maybe a little of what I’m learning in the ditch. I am uncomfortable with being so publicly introspective, but I guess if I shouldn’t be on my blog, maybe it’s time to quit blogging. Anyway, if you don’t like personal and raw, please just move on.
If you find yourself stuck, especially when you know better, I hope it helps to know that you aren’t alone. Feel free to comment, but I don’t know if I can or will respond to the comments, however I always read and appreciate your thoughts.
It’s hard for me to blog about this. This post has been in my draft file for a couple of months. I would rather post it with a nice well-wrapped ending. Maybe the only reason I can post it now is because I see a glimpse of light at the end of the tunnel.
Well you know what they say about lights at the end of tunnels.