I’ve been reading Psalms the last few days, trying to understand some things. Apparently David experienced the shunning also.
Because of all my enemies,
I am the utter contempt of my neighbors;
I am a dread to my friends–
those who see me on the street flee from me.
I am forgotten by them as though I were dead;
I have become like broken pottery.
I know what that is like. My identity over the last two years has been She-Who-Must-Be-Avoided. The tide is suddenly turning, and to a few people, I have become She-Who-Knew.
I was settled in my identity as outcast, accepting the chafing and sometimes stabbing discomfort. I was prepared to wear that cloak indefinitely. I am not sure how to wear this new cloak. It seems bright, shiny, maybe too appealing.
So I have been reading Psalms, trying to figure out how to react when those who have been your adversaries begin reaping the fruit of their behavior. I want to walk the next phase of this journey with maturity and wisdom.
The righteous will be glad when they are avenged…
Then men will say,
Surely the righteous still are rewarded;
surely there is a God who judges the earth.
It is important to remember that God sees it all. It has been hard to trust, to believe I would see this resolved, at least in this lifetime.
I am still confident of this:
I will see the goodness of the Lord
in the land of the living.
Wait for the Lord;
be strong and take heart
and wait for the Lord.
I also take advice from Matthew 5 and pray for those who were against us. I must separate the evil actions from the persons involved because my heart yearns for God to rise up against all that is wicked and false, bringing it to complete destruction.
Yet at the same time, I pray for mercy for the individuals who are involved because, but for the grace of God, I might have been one of them. Sometimes mercy is God’s correction when we have involved ourselves in ways that are false. I know that it is God’s mercy that we are no longer there.