Don’t miss the great comments in response to my previous post. There is a lot of wisdom there about forgiveness and reconciliation.
Those of you who have been through the process of recovering from spiritual abuse will recognize the cycle. You are cruising along, doing pretty well, and WHAM! you step into a pile of “stuff” – maybe self-pity, anger, despair, bitterness.
With a little help from your Friend and your friends, you get the “stuff” cleaned off and continue on. What I have found is that in spite of this regression, we move forward in our healing as deeper issues are addressed.
As I sit here in the front row of God’s remedial class, I am learning a couple of things:
I forgot that there were valid reasons we left. I forgot that there were real reasons that we could no longer be a part of the club.
I had more trouble letting go of my ideal of what it “should have been” than what it actually was.
This was a big hit to our confidence and identity. On the good side, we learned where our identity was misplaced in relationships and position. On the bad side, it has been difficult to withstand the continual battering of undeserved rejection and disrespect.
I decided that I will no longer blame “them” for my unhappiness. I will take back responsibility for the happiness and success in my life. I will not be defined anymore by what they did to us, said about us, or continue to say about us.
I can see glimpses again of who we were before we started cowering in the corner. As my new friend said, we are shaking the dust off and moving on.
We went out for Chinese food the other night, and through the fortune cookie, God spoke, maybe….