I have been thinking lately about where my charismatic experience fits in my Christian walk.
Overall, I do not have negative feelings about what we experienced in the charismatic church. Probably my biggest complaint would be the elitism that permeates many charismatic churches, the division between the haves and the have nots.
When we left the charismatic church, I had no intention of denying or limiting the role of the Holy Spirit in my life. I knew that because the spiritual gifts are a part of my life, they would be with me wherever I went. Spiritual gifts can be manifested in ways that do not require a charismatic setting.
It bothered me when people insinuated that the community church we were attending was a step backwards from the charismatic church where we had been. I felt like this attitude failed to recognize the value of other churches in the body of Christ.
However, this is also a dilemma for me. I am unfulfilled attending the local community church. I thought that I could have a supernatural walk with God on a personal level and that I could simply be a prophetic/charismatic person who attends an evangelical church.
This should work. There should not have to be lines between charismatics and other churches. I do not know why this is not working for me. There are so many things this church is doing well, so much fruit.
I am hesitant to say, “I want something more.” Yet, I cannot ignore the yearning inside of me for something different. Maybe something different will not be a return to a charismatic church. I don’t know.
Either way will be a season of waiting.