I am hesitant to begin this post because my thoughts are not clear.
Perhaps you have noticed that I like things clear, precise, and tidy.
I spent a lot of time over the last couple of years trying to tidy up the mess that my life has become.
The loss of friendships I put into a box called acceptance and wrote “forgiven” across the top. This was difficult, but necessary.
The loss of ministry and position I put into a box and began a list on the outside of valuable lessons learned through the process of losing down my position. This was good too.
There were other things, like vision, hope, dreams, gifting, and zeal that I put into boxes and simply wrote DANGER across the top. Then I attempted to live a safe life without these things.
Finally, I crawled into a very small box and hoped that in doing so I could fit somewhere. I just wanted to fit, somewhere.
This past weekend tipped all my boxes upside down and scattered everything around.
I cannot continue without hope, dreams, and passion. However, if I allow these things back into my life, I cannot fit into the small box.
So, once again, I have no direction about where we fit.
“The Lord won’t give you direction so that you can feel secure. You are to be developing your sensitivity to the Father. He wants you to develop greater prophetic capability.The journey is always about relationship. There is no substitute for trust and sensitity to His Spirit. You have to find your identity and inheritance on the journey.”