Showdown
July 21, 2009
So, I got a certified letter from our CLB* today.
It wasn’t an apology. 
Sorry I have to be vague about the content.
The tone was heavily laced with once-familiar control and manipulation.
We will not likely witness the best of christianity at the meeting proposed between those who were driven out and those who remain.
I might be able to fill in more details after the meeting.
It’s not over until it’s over.
*(church left behind)
July 21, 2009 at 9:24 pm
be gracious, forgiving and meek. you have our prayers
July 21, 2009 at 9:43 pm
James,
That wasn’t my Plan A.
We will definitely pray to know the appropriate response in this situation.
August 9, 2009 at 5:33 pm
hah, i said forgiving, not apologetic.
July 21, 2009 at 11:26 pm
I’ll be praying for you too.
July 22, 2009 at 2:05 am
I’m not sure of the background but be who you are here on the web. Be authentic. Real dualog requires Safety and that takes Mutual Respect and Mutual Purpose. Already you are uncertain about the real agenda so safety is compromised. Working on those has to preceed meaningful dialog.
Praying for you.
July 22, 2009 at 4:58 am
Thanks Sarah!
Good thoughts Paul. I am not expecting real dialog, because as you suggested, the agenda proposed isn’t looking for dialog or reconciliation.
I will likely attend, probably won’t speak. Rather than a church meeting free-for-all (fun as they are), it is likely that the group going back in will be represented by an attorney who will speak on our behalf.
I’m not sure if it is right, but I am looking forward to the possibility of seeing justice, at least in this aspect of the entire situation.
Would reconciliation be preferable? Sure. But it isn’t on the table yet.
July 22, 2009 at 5:14 am
“It takes one person to forgive, it takes two people to be reunited.” – Lewis Smedes
July 22, 2009 at 6:57 am
Grace
If I were were you I wouldn’t waste my time going – your sacred space is special – don’t let the manipulative or guilt peddlers anywhere near it – I speak from experience!Let all attachments drop away – even those of your past.If there is something legal that has to be done let the attorney get on with it.
July 22, 2009 at 6:58 am
Are they planning a public stoning? ;-P i can’t help but remark of the irony and humor of all of this happening in a church.
July 22, 2009 at 7:49 am
I went back and read your spiritual abuse series. I am praying for you and your group’s lawyer. You’ve come a very long way since you first posted about your CLB.
July 22, 2009 at 8:48 am
At 16 I got invited to a church meeting that sounded very similar to this in a church I hadn’t quiet left behind. After I was manipulated into apologising for the rift that had been happening in the church for about 6-8 months and found out in that time I also had already been left behind. I decided it was best to
Only go if you are at peace to don’t take no bullshit while being available for reconcilliation
July 22, 2009 at 11:02 am
Being a student of human nature and the analytical thinker that I am, just my curiousity would compel me to go. I sense that you have enough confidence in your relationship with the Lord that any ‘authorative manipulation. would be quite futile. But, I also sense that you are a sensitive person and may be a little vulnerable to getting your emotions rocked by issues embedded in personal history. Keep your guard up and your chin tucked … I think you’ll do fine.
July 22, 2009 at 11:07 am
“It’s not over until it’s over”
P.S. I agree. Closure is very important – no matter how painful.
July 22, 2009 at 12:40 pm
Best of luck to you. I hope it does provide a sense of closure to you. We all deserve that! And I know the Spirit will guide you on your path.
July 22, 2009 at 4:46 pm
Grace … joining my prayers with so many for God’s grace and mercy and peace to reign in your heart and protect you from any darts fired your way.
…that you have to hire a lawyer is so very pathetic. Lord have mercy, indeed!
July 23, 2009 at 6:49 am
I thought it is the C LEFT BEHIND….so why are they chasing you? ;o)
Tom
July 23, 2009 at 11:46 am
Can’t say, but I believe they may live to regret it.
July 25, 2009 at 3:23 pm
I hope so…will do them good.
T
July 23, 2009 at 4:27 pm
Agree with most of the sentiment offered here Grace.. heartwarming to see how people have responded and encouraged you. I think that your last sentence says it all:
“It’s not over until it’s over.”
You seem to be a steadfast person.. let it do its work in you.
Count it all joy, my brothers, when you meet trials of various kinds, for you know that the testing of your faith produces steadfastness. And let steadfastness have its full effect, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing.
July 24, 2009 at 11:33 am
I pray ‘the fat lady sings’ and you’ll never have to deal with it again!!! amen:)
Bless you!
July 25, 2009 at 1:20 am
a “certified” letter? Woah!!!!
July 25, 2009 at 6:27 am
This got me all stirred up and angry. Having just watched *The Shawshank Redemption* – and having been informed of the nearing-conclusion of a similarly surreal situation in a local church gone loco – before reading about this letter and meeting, my “anger antennae” were already in full activation mode. Perhaps, providentially, there will be some justice that arises from this mess. Praying for resolution, justice, and closure. Meanwhile, two intriquing quotes on anger:
“Anger is that which rouses you and rallies all of your faculties to defend that which you ultimately love.” Tim Keller
“You can’t understand God’s love if you don’t understand His anger. Because He loves, He’s angry at what harms.” David Powlison
July 26, 2009 at 6:54 pm
So, Grace, how did it go? Can you say? If you can’t say publically would love to know by email. Your situation was just so close to ours.
July 29, 2009 at 7:47 pm
Odd… a few weeks ago I received an invitation from the new pastor to come back to my CLB. Not an apology. It was a massive trigger for me. Really bad.
August 3, 2009 at 10:22 pm
Oh geesh. shades of my CLB as well…. that meeting only left me spinning more and unsure of what I’d heard in the silence….
2 years later at a new home… I’m grateful God practically screamed to get me to leave…
I have very few contacts and limited at that at the CLB… but I won’t be “friends” with any of them any time soon…
August 10, 2009 at 12:52 pm
[...] regular contact with a number of people involved in that, and the post Grace, of Kingdom Grace, wrote a bit back about her own old church, I’ve gotten into a mental muddle about writing on church and [...]