An Apostolic Tale
August 20, 2008
Once upon a time in a land far away, there lived pastors and prophets and intercessors. The prophets of this time rode from church to church befriending the pastors and encouraging the people with magic words about their destiny. It was during this time that waves of revival swept through the land.
The prophets and revivalists continued to travel to and fro throughout the land in their quest to ignite the passion of the people. The people were blessed, and the prophets and revivalists were confident that they were carrying out the wishes of the king. The coffers were full to overflowing.
Gazing in their crystal ball, the prophets, pastors, teachers, and evangelists decreed that it was time for the apostles to take their place in the kingdom. Looking through their ranks, they wondered who would be the heirs to the apostolic throne. Several men boldly stepped forward to claim their place as apostles and to set forth the order of the realm of the apostles.
The newly recognized apostles soon convinced everyone wide and far that the reign of the apostles was vital for the survival and future success of the kingdom. Recognizing the great need and opportunity of the day, prophets, pastors, and teachers heroically exchanged their dusty titles and swords as the people of the land eagerly sought after apostles to follow.
Magnificent ceremonies were held as men commissioned and ordained one another to be apostles, kneeling in the presence of throngs of people as their brother apostles “knighted” them for service to the king. As this elite group of gallant knights grew, they swore allegiance to one another in brotherhoods of the round table and other alliances and coalitions.
Under the weight of their responsibility, the apostles established protocol, rules, guidelines, and organized their ranks in order to enforce their newly-realized apostolic authority. Their adversaries were quickly silenced or defeated. The scribes brought forth many books and frequently gathered the villagers so that all of the citizens could be taught about the newest order of life in the kingdom.
All seemed well as the apostolic brotherhood flourished.
Until one day…
August 20, 2008 at 2:15 am
Until….until what? Oooh the suspense is killing me!!!
August 20, 2008 at 4:20 am
This scares me about the missional movement as well – I believe it’s a lot bigger than a” five fold ministry,’ as some “apostles” would lead us to think.
Love the pic – I have all their movies!!! – and will be watching, “Yellow Beard” – tonight!!!
August 20, 2008 at 4:31 am
Brilliant Grace!!
Mark, the difference between the missional movement and the apostolic is the lack of control over it’s people that it wields. If you leave one of the big wigs in the missional movement or speak out against them they might shun you but if you do that to some of the new apostolic guys they threaten you with disaster both financial and spiritual. You are said to have rebelled against God’s Anointed and are a agent of the devil himself. Even Patricia King said this of those that opposed the Lakeland thing. It is a short distance from being an agent of the devil to being the satanic force himself and thus the need for eradication.
August 20, 2008 at 6:04 am
The real Apostolic movement is about equipping and empowering the saints to do the work of the ministry – and releasing them to fulfill that work ! These guys/gals (apostles) look way more like fathers and mothers than CEO’s. Most apostles won’t be coming out of the current church model – most of them will be coming from the business world (in the US anyway). They are used to supporting others – rather than others supporting them.
The real Apostolic government will model Acts 15 – things will be decided on the basis of 2 or 3 witnesses.
“Witnesses” are outlined by Jesus in John 5.
Hierarchicans have so twisted Acts 15 to make it look like James was holding a trump card – but he was not.
Acts 15 decision – There was the witness of God working thru Peter – there was the witness of God working thru Paul – there was the witness of scripture given thru James. In John 5 – Jesus rebuked them for their misuse of scripture. Scripture can be misused – and even when used properly – it is only 1 witness when 2 or 3 are needed.
btw- God doesn’t accept the witness of men (Jn 5:34)
One stunning thing Jesus said in John 5:31 “If I testify about myself, my testimony is not valid.”
If Jesus as the head of the church had to rely on other witnesses – who could possibly make a unilateral decision on anything? Correct answer – NOBODY. God always establishes something with 2 or more witnesses. Instead of looking to men – we must look to God.
There is path marked out before you – but you have to find that path – and those markings.
August 20, 2008 at 7:25 am
I have two questions:
1. Are you telling us to come see the violence inherent in the system?
2. What is the air-speed velocity of an unladen swallow?
August 20, 2008 at 8:36 am
I would advise the apostles to bring Grace some shrubbery IMMEDIATELY if they would like to continue uninterupted in their holy quest.
August 20, 2008 at 9:02 am
What may be most effective for us is that everytime we hear or read one of the self-proclaimed prophets we begin to hum Monty Python’s I’m a Lumberjack.
August 20, 2008 at 9:50 am
The apostles who say, “Ni”…
August 20, 2008 at 10:16 am
“Oh, please!”
August 20, 2008 at 10:46 am
I will acknowledg their ‘apostleness’ & prophetic gifting if they rightly discern:
1. My Name
2. My Quest
3. My Favorite Color
4. The Capital of Assyria
5. The unladen air speed of both the African & European swallow…
August 20, 2008 at 10:47 am
Oooh! I love a good fuedal story!
August 20, 2008 at 4:49 pm
Ooh! These kind of stories always end in some place called “ARGHhhh……..”
(At least it did for me
)
August 20, 2008 at 8:04 pm
Always look on the bright side of life…
Oh, I think I got the wrong tale.
Follow the gourd!
August 21, 2008 at 11:21 am
Oh you don’t say. How did you come to that conclusion, eh? By exploiting the workers. By hanging on to outdated imperialist dogma which perpetuates the economic and social differences in our society.
lol
Don’t get me started. Good job so far.
pax,
meb
August 21, 2008 at 3:11 pm
Yes, but is it true that Mick Jagger is the devil?
August 21, 2008 at 4:48 pm
“We are now NO LONGER the Knights Who Say ‘Todd Bentley’. We are now the Knights Who Say ‘Ecky-Ecky-Ecky-We-Had-Nothing-To-Do-With-It-And-What-You-Think-You-Saw-Didn’t-Really-Happen-Zoom-Boing!’ and we demand… ANOTHER REVIVAL!!!!!”
August 21, 2008 at 11:38 pm
You guys are hilarious!
August 22, 2008 at 10:07 am
“‘ow do you know he’s an apostle?”
August 22, 2008 at 10:25 am
ummm … if someone’s following the shoe/sandal, does that mean they’re outta their gourd?
i know, i know … wrong film, but same universe!
August 22, 2008 at 12:19 pm
Well you can’t expect to wield supreme
apostolic power just ’cause some watery tart threw a title at you!
August 22, 2008 at 2:32 pm
“‘ow do you know he’s an apostle?”
“Because he looks like one.”
“They dressed me this way.”
August 22, 2008 at 11:57 pm
“ow do you know he’s an apostle?”
“He turned me into a heretic.”
*Stern looks*
“I got better!”
September 22, 2008 at 2:39 pm
[...] 20 – Kingdom Grace. An Apostolic Tale. Parody of the excesses and fallings-short in the apostolic [...]
October 13, 2008 at 10:12 pm
Come Back here Apostle….
It not just a fleshwound!