Just a reminder, the thoughts, feelings, ideas, and opinions on this blog are simply a reflection of this moment in time in said blogger’s journey.
The church we left behind was the church we poured ourselves into. We gave completely of our time, money, energy, and heart. We frequently left our young children with sitters to attend meetings. We were available to people whenever they wanted to see us. All of our tithes plus substantial offerings went to the church. In spite of relational conflicts, our support of the “vision” of the church was 100 percent. In fact, if anything, we were over-invested.
When we left, we intentionally chose to not attend anywhere for 6 months. We were incredibly raw and isolated at that time. We then started attending this WC church which at the time was meeting in a gymnasium. We were in the process of grieving and detox. We had no relationships left from our CLB and were literally shunned by the people we had known so intimately.
The people at the WC church were friendly, and this was a safe and healthy place to be. Their vision of reaching the community with the gospel was such a healthy contrast from our CLB where the vision was to create an elite remnant. Being with and among this congregation was a healthy step in our growth. We were trying to start over.
After 2 years, the WC church completed their building. We were happy for them to have a building, and we did contribute to the building fund. Shortly after they moved into the new building, our CLB blew up and many of our “church family” were suddenly also attending the WC church.
While they were also hurt and angry about what happened at the CLB, most of them jumped right in at the new church. They took the 101, 201 classes, joined small groups, volunteered for children’s ministry, coffee shop duty, drama and music roles.
The past year and a half has been very healing for us with many of our relationships being reconciled. It has also stirred up things that I had put to rest and contributed to my confusion about where and how we fit.
Many of my closest friends are already “in leadership” at the WC church. Yesterday I got a phone call about inviting us to attend a “special reception” for couples who are considered “leaders.” (It was for the capital campaign, and I am fairly certain that considered leaders means making above minimum wage.)
In the past 6 months we have grown increasingly disillusioned. We are trying not to blame the church for our disillusionment. It is not their fault. I haven’t been there since Easter. My kids occasionally attend there.
I struggle with the idea that I will likely once again walk away from the church where my friends are. I don’t necessarily expect the same relational fallout as last time, but it is a painful unspoken narrative of always being the outsider.
Right now, what we need in our life are people that truly care about us in spite of the fact that we have nothing to offer. Maybe that’s unrealistic.
